Wow, its been over a year since I've had anything important enough to say that I'd put it here. Not sure why the writer's block, but now is better than never, right? I probably shouldn't even write what I am going to, because of course it all goes against popular opinion, but what can I say, I'm a rebel, don't judge me.
My topic is Rape. Sexual Assault. Molestation. However you wanna word it, they all pretty much mean the same thing.
A lot of people that know me know that I was raped, sexually assaulted, molested as a child for a very long time. It was done by somebody who I trusted completely, somebody I was programmed to trust and love unconditionally. No, there has never been any "justice" served in my situation because of one singular reason.... I kept quiet. I didn't tell anybody. And when I did speak up, nobody believed me except a hand full of family members and the others called me a liar. For an 8 yr old to get up the courage to tell someone that something like that happened is huge, and to be shot down and called a liar... well I wasn't in a hurry to speak up about it again. So what could I do, nobody believed me. I was 8 years old "collecting evidence" with a Q-tip so I could take it to the cops. I would put obstacles in front of my bedroom door so it would be just a little harder for him to get through. I was forced to take pregnancy tests on a monthly basis, although I was no where close to being voluntarily sexually active. But my family told me I was lying... they told me it never happened and that I had made it all up for attention. What purpose does an 8 yr old have to lie about something so important? The abuse continued until I was around 14-15. An opportunity for me to get away from the abuse had presented itself so I took it. I removed myself from the situation. It took me years to come to terms with what I had gone through. I suffered emotionally and mentally because of the whole ordeal. After awhile, I went to my Mom and told her everything. I started at the beginning and laid it all out there. She didn't call me a liar. She didn't say that I made it all up. She believed me. But what could we do now? There was no proof anymore. The evidence now long gone and never used against him because I was so scared of being called a liar again. So I carried a burden. I carried a weight around with me for a very long time. But one day, I decided for myself that I wasn't going to carry this with me anymore. I gave it to God and asked for guidance. I can say that I'm "over it" now and somewhat believe myself.
Now for the reason I've shared that with you...
I'm sure you've heard the speculation revolving Bill Cosby in the past few days, if not then you live under a rock. Accusations dating back all the way to 1967 say that Mr. Cosby is a rapist. Yet, instead of taking up arms against Mr. Cosby, everyone is so fast to judge these women coming forward. I've seen them called liars, whores, and gold diggers just to name a few. I've seen people say horrible things about them and praise Mr. Cosby. I am beyond confused folks, I'm not gonna lie.
Rape cases go unsolved everyday. The reason for this is the same reason that I never saw "justice". Women are afraid. Afraid of being called whores and liars. Afraid of being told that they deserved it; that they shouldn't have worn the clothes they did; that it was their fault. Now these women, after 30 years, are no longer afraid. They are opening up horrible closets they locked up tight long ago to tell a story they believe the world should hear. Mr. Cosby is not what he seems to be. I went years without saying a word about my assault, it doesn't make it any less true, and it SURE AS HELL DOES NOT ERASE IT!!!
To all the people around social media that are defending Mr. Cosby.... I ask you to ask yourself, what if he had done it to your Mother? Your Grandmother? Your Sister? Your Daughter? Would you be so quick to defend him after that? One point that you do have is there is no proof other than the words of these women, shouldn't that be enough? What is there to gain from coming out with this 30 years later? Other than to rid themselves of the burden they've carried, there is no reason. No, there is no proof. But who are we to say that it didn't happen and that these women are lying? You were not there. If it happened anything like it did to me, there was nobody there except these women and their rapist, Mr. Cosby.
I... I stand with these women. I believe them with every fiber in my being. I applaud them for coming out and telling their stories. In my honest opinion, they've showed strength and courage by speaking out against a man like Mr. Cosby. The people defending Mr. Cosby should be ashamed of themselves.
I leave with my final thought.... If you are a victim of rape - SPEAK UP! Tell somebody. You are not alone. I've linked up a few websites below if needed.
Rape Crisis Website
Safe Horizons Website
RAINN Website
Maybe I'll have some more important stuff to say later. For now, I leave you. Peace, Love, and Pixie Dust my friends!
<3
