Apocalypse... Now?

Last week was, for lack of a better word, hell. So many things happened, so many lives torn apart in seconds, so many lives lost for no reason at all. The world is crying right now. Cities are broken. If this isn't an apocalypse, I don't know what is. Humans are not capable of love anymore. Traditions that used to matter, don't. There is so much hate in this world, and it's not even reasonable hate, as if there were such a thing. We hate because of the God we choose to believe in. We hate because of the color of skin. We hate because that girl that sits next to you in class is just a little under the 'status quo'. It makes no sense to me anymore. Well, I guess it never made sense to me, I was just ignorant to it. I kept praying that He would open my eyes, and man, He has. My eyes are open in a way that it hurts to look at what they see. Elementary students gunned down in class. Marathon spectators having their limbs blown off. Fertilizer plants leveling half a town. Earthquakes ripping through countries, killing hundreds. Kids ending their own lives because that's easier than going to high school. No, I want to close my eyes. I don't want to see this anymore. I don't want to watch innocent people dying by the hands of monsters and industrial accidents and natural disasters. We find ourselves shaking our fist at the sky and screaming "WHY???" a lot more often these days. We find ourselves holding the hand of a stranger for a moment of silence at the loss of an 8-yr old boy. Martin Richard, taken in the Boston bombings on Monday, 4/15. I saw a picture of him holding a sign, probably at school, and he was smiling, such a bright smile. The sign read "People should stop hurting each other, Peace". He got it. He understood what for some reason others cant.

I've kept quiet this past week, on my Facebook page, to my friends, to the Hubs even, about what has been processing in my brain this week. And now I think I've figured out the jumbled mess. I am scared. I am scared. I AM SCARED! This is happening all around us, and we sit around and think, 'oh it cant happen to us'. Just, the fact of the matter is, it can happen to any of us. West, Texas is a 3 hour drive from my house. Just an hour, give or take, from my family in Eastland and Waxahachie. It could've easily happened to me this past week. Thinking about this makes me feel guilty and grateful at the same time. Guilty that I could be thinking of myself and my family at a time when so many are grieving and reeling from loss. Grateful that I, and my family wasn't involved. It's a torn feeling that I cant say I am a fan of. I'm sure that I am not the only one that feels this way. We just keep telling ourselves that it'll stop, people will realize how stupid the hate is, and all the beauty pageant contestants will one day really get their wish for world peace. I know I wake up every day reassuring myself that God has His gentle hand on my shoulder, and He's guiding me through the darkness. That's how I get out of bed in the morning.

I know this has kinda been a jumbled mess and it probably makes no sense as you're reading it. That's normally how it comes at me while I'm thinking it. I don't know what else I can say about this. My mind and emotions are exhausted from that crazy week. Tonight, I send up a prayer and I hope you'll join me. I've never done this before, and I'm not normally one to push my religion on other people, but I feel like this is what the world needs right now. Maybe my voice wont make a difference, but on the other hand, maybe it will.

Please take a moment of silence.

Heavenly Father, I come to you right now, broken. This craziness... well it's crazy. I don't know what to think of it, and I pray that you guide me through this craziness. I pray you lay your hand upon the families in Boston who bury their lost and visit their injured in hospitals. I pray you guide the prosecutors to Your will. Please, cover the town of West with your love and show them they will overcome. Lord, I pray your new Angels are getting acquainted and are basking in your everlasting light. Lord, I pray you lay your hands on the world, heal us Lord, show us Your will, show us Your light. I pray in Jesus' name. Amen.

Don't forget guys, hug your loved ones tight, tell them I LOVE YOU every chance you get, and don't take the little things for granted. Good night folks, much love <3